Hell Explained by Chemistry Student

The Social Lounge Off-topic Lounge
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The following is an actual question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

  2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

:rofl:

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ahd heard this , a slightly opp version , where the guy doesnt get to sleep with the gal :smiley:

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well i chose to post the happy ending one :wink:

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dEFNITELY :smiley:

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lOL…wat a d00d & wat a answer man…he’ll be failed in most of the universities around here anyway..!!:rofl:

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You’d never get an answer like that from some one in a university here anyway :stuck_out_tongue:

..let alone be asked it on an exam.

Notice how the questoin asks to apply what you learnt in another context…

Would require a restructuring of the educational system starting from LKG.

..aint gonna happen.

Too costly to teach ppl how to think independantly.

Not to mention it mixes religon with science :open_mouth:

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Another one:

Among high school students in the process of preparing their application forms for college, this unusual definatory habit is quite evident, as college admissions departments are disturbingly prone to ask applicants to write single page essays in response to the questions like ‘What is courage?’ Applicants, instead of taking the obvious, and unfailingly accurate, route and copying the definition of ‘courage’ from the nearest dictionary, almost invariably write an essay about their dearly departed grandfather who stood up to the neighbourhood bully when he was five years old or some other such laudable achievement. In an extreme example, it is a well-worn legend among college applicants that one student, when faced with exactly this question simply wrote the sentence ‘This is courage.’ and sent in his application. Of course, the legend ends with the student being admitted to the college and living happily ever after.

BBC - h2g2 - Courage

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Superb.. does not get any more to the point.

[i]its a bit curious that being on a uk site cos essays to get into college is a typcially US thing.

In the UK they ask you that at the interview and watch how much you squirm ;)[/i]

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It doesn’t get any more credible than the Beeb.